obsession

this week has actually gone by pretty fast compared to the last. i have been taking care of another volunteer´s home and doggy, Osa is her name, while she has been away on vacation. also, been painting my apartment. the walls were like this hideous blue green aqua color. . . but mind you only two of the walls, and in the other room a bright orangy color or something like that. i´ve kinda been obsessing over this apartment. my mind is filled with "what should i put here. . .do i like this color. . . is it clean enough. . . should i paint something on the wall. . . what should it be. . . do i like it. . .should i clean it again. . .when will the water come. . .am i always gonna have problems with water. . . blah blah blah" THEN i realized, i am actually not obsessing over this apratement but trying to control a part of my life that i actually CAN control. in the midst of all this "newness," (if you will) not knowing what will happen from one day to the next, what i will be doing for the next. . .2. . . years. . . of. . . my. . . life, not knowing, trying to find my routine. . .i realized that i might be obsessing because it feels good to actually have something you can control. not control in the sense like have power over something or maybe . . .yeah have power over something. until one is in a situation like this wherever it may be however it may be, you suddenly realize how many comforts you actually have "back at home" all those little things "you have control over." The time you wake up, eat breakfast, brush your teeth, even going to take a "poo". . .this even becomes a chore. I guess this is what they call the "adjustment period."